My weekend

This has nothing to with adoption or infertility but just what is going on in my life, work life to be exact.
I am running a training this weekend and It is a HUGE deal. I think everything is ready (obviously If I have time to post at work then I am ready). It is just kind of nerve racking for people from all over the country to fly to Pasadena to hear me tell them how to run an INSIGHT program.

You see it is actually my anniversary, one year ago this week, I started this job. I took over from another girl who had been starting this office. (this is all really hard to explain) There has been an INSIGHT program for the last 9 years, but expanding it to new locations is a NEW thing. My new thing. In the last year I have learned how to run a program, wrote the training manual (literally) created a training program and now in less than 24 hours will be teaching this training to representatives from 4 locations that want to start their own INSIGHT program. I am a little overwhelmed.

The greatest part about this it is is so obvious that there is no way that anyone could look at me and say what an amazing person you are or wow you are so talented. If you knew me and saw these results you would instantly give God all the glory for this work. I am wreck, and He somehow pulled all of this off over the last year. It makes me hopeful when I look to the future. There is so much more to be accomplished, but I know that God is not done, and He will continue to work and pull together more than I can imagine!

Please pray for me and my confidence over the weekend. And that we are able to accomplish all that we need to do in just two days. yall are amazing!

Official Adoption Class Graduates!

Woohoo! We are done! Last night was a 4th and final adoption class, so now we are on to the interviews with our social worker. The end is in sight and it feels kind of weird.

Last night was awesome. We talked a little about the assumptions people make about birth mothers (young, crazy, drug addicts, poor, etc) and what they actually are. Most of the birthmothers they work with are over 24-35. I was surprised by that, I had definately bought into the idea that adoptions are mostly from teen pregnancies. The sad truth is, most teens dont want to carry the baby for 9 months and just get an abortion, Sad.

The second half of the class they always have some kind of panel and this night it was birth moms. This was really awesome to me, because they were two perfectly normal women in their mid 30s. One had placed 12 years ago and the other 2 years ago. The second was pregnant again and was placing the new baby with the same family who has the 2 year old. How cool is that!
Both of these mothers have very open adoptions. They see the adoptive family once or twice a month, talk on the phone often, spend all major holidays together, etc. It was really impressive. There was a lot of talk about boundaries. They were both very adiment that they did not want to coparent and that they respected the parents decisions.

I think that is the most scary part of open adoption for people. The idea that there will be this other woman who has a very substantial connection with the child hanging around and intruding on your parentness. That the birth mom will have a deeper connection with the child, love her more, and want to really be with her. And that the birthmom will act like the parent, be judgemental of the way the child is being raised etc. These girls didnt have any of that, they saw that as a stereotype and were very focused on not doing those things. And they really didnt want to. They wanted their child to bond with the adoptive family, to want to be with them more than her. They understood the reality of the situation and worked for the good of it.

Oh and we went to Babies R Us and it was awesome, lots of fun and overwhelming looking at all the gadgets and stuff that "someone" says we need. If we bought everything we "needed" our house would be full of baby junk and we would be able to pay for our adoption! We did buy our first baby item: a blanket from the bedding set we picked, we went with bunny meadows. I love it and it looked fine in a white crib. Now I have the pattern and colors and cant wait to start painting the dresser!

Last Adoption Class

So tonight we go to our last adoption class. Tonight we will meet a panel of Birthmoms (they are already matched with a family, so this is not like the parade of maidens in front of a crowd of young men) I am really anxious, not in a bad way, I am just eager to hear what they have to say. I want to know how they decided and what made them feel comfortable. I think I need to see that they are OK and not damaged for life. I think it will be a really exciting night.

Also on the way there, we are stopping at Babies R Us! I have convinced Hubbs that we need to decide on the bedding theme for the nursery and buy one thing so I will have the colors and patterns to start painting and stuff like that. I am sure we will stroll around and peek at other stuff as well. I am kind of nervous, I have not been in Babies R Us since before we found out we counldnt get pregnant. The last time I was in there I was dreaming of my baby belly. I think it will be good, We need to let loose and have some giddy dreamy time of what life will be like with baby. I am sure I will think about it, but we are so excited about a baby joining our family, I think the excitment will overcome the sadness and loss. Or atleast that is what I am rooting for!

Spring!!!

So it is officially spring time, and I love it! Even though I live in Cali and it has been warm for awhile, I love the idea of spring. Spring is a time for new beginnings. Everything is blooming or getting ready to bloom and the bugs are all crazy doing the flower dance.
We have a lemon tree in our front yard and it just started blooming. The smell is amazing! I have tried to spend more time outside with the sun. I think it makes me feel better.
I also am trying to plant flowers. I have never had a garden before so I dont really know what I am doing. I have some seeds that someone gave me, but I think I might be too late and there are all listed as full sun flowers. My yard only has partial sun. If anyone is a gardener and would like to give me some help, I would sure appreciate it! I have a window box on our porch that is in a pretty shady area (it was put there by someone before us) It needs flowers so I am trying to decide what to put there and whether it should be seeds or just go get the one from Lowes that are already blooming.
Maybe I should go outside and sit on my porch until I get some inspiration!

Kicking the Funk

My last post was on March 2nd. Over two weeks ago. That is pitiful. I have thought about posting, even got as far as pulling up the new post screen, but then I sit there and stare at the screen with nothing to say.
I have been in a funk. Not depressed but just a free floating funk where I am going along and letting my life pass me by. I am not awake and alive. I cant live like this, its not me.

I am a fun loving person, who wants to enjoy my life, every day! I am full of energy and laughter and creativity. I like to be active and out doors. For some reason I have forgotten this lately, and I want it back.

I have decided today that the funk is over. I am kicking the funk out the door. Not asking it politely to leave or giving it a time frame to leave by, I am picking the Funk up and throwing it out the door with a smirk that says Come back this way and I will kill you!

It feels good to be rid of the Funk.

What do you think?

Hubbs and I spent some time looking at crib bedding over the weekend since I couldn't do anything but lay in the bed. It was fun and we came down to too different ones. We both really like the Bunny Meadows set and the other I like but he is not so sure because it has polka dots. he hates polka dots.

So this is my dilemma. We have a white crib, and the bunny set is mostly white with browns and greens. Check out the pic it is super cute! So what do you think it would look like in an all white crib? The crib in the pic is white and brown. Will it be too blah, the room it is in we cant really paint (we rent) so I was going to use decals for the walls. The carpet is a deep brown color that will match great. I really need help with this because I have a hard time envisioning it.

Hubbs said we should just go to Babies R Us and take the bedding out and set it up in one of their white cribs! I am not so sure how they would feel about that, but it might be worth a shot.

Please help!