Monday, September 22, 2008

Am I willing to Gamble?

IVF costs a LOT of money. I think we are all aware of that. Adoption is not a cheaper option, and might even cost more. What we are trying to decide now, is a simple question of whether we are willing to gamble.
I am trying to make this a logical decision, and it is really hard with all the emotions that are involved, but just run with me for a minute.
Lets say you are looking to buy a car. You go and meet with Mr. Car man and he gives you two options. The first, pay $15,000 and he will provide you with a kit to build your own car, sounds exciting, only that there is only a 35% chance you will actually end up with a car in the end. The second option is to pay the same amount of money and he gaurntees you will have a brand new car from the lot down the street where cars just sit with no one to drive them in your drive way within a year. You dont get the satisfaction of putting it together yourself, but you are garunteed to have a car in the end.
I know that sounds really simplistic and maybe way off, but this is where my mind is.

Of course you would go with the option that garuntees that you get a car!

It sounds so simple, and we all know wanting a baby, our baby is much different than wanting a car. But the logic of it still stands. Am I willing to gamble the money on the maybe of getting a car? And there is a need that we could fill, we could become a child's family, be a better option for a struggling teen mom, we could be the answer.

With gaurntees also comes the abandonment of a dream. Letting go of hopes and emotions that I dont know if I am willing to let go of yet.

I wish this was as simple as buying a car, but I know it is not.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Decisions, decisions

We had our official consultation with the fertility specialist on Friday. It went really well, she didnt tell us anything we didnt already know, but she did say it. And she explained the whole situation with the endometriosis, what it is doing to my insides, and what are options are. I feel really educated, and I like our doc.

What she said:
Our only option is IVF if we want to get pregnant. I am kind of ok with it, most days. I pretty much knew this before, but now I know why. We also went through the whole process of IVF with her explaining every stage in detail. That was awesome. I am so amazed at the way God designed our bodies. We told her that we believed that life was at conception and that we needed to be able to protect that life at every stage. She said that they were willing to work with us and our stipulations. I dont think she necessarily agreed with us, but respected our beliefs. I appreciated that.

So now we have to decide. The major factor for us is protecting the life and feeling comfortable with the proceedure. The other big factor is the money. We will have to save or raise up the money, we could take out a loan, but we have to make sure we can pay the payments.

I would love to hear some creative ways that yall raised, barrowed, penny pinched, sold plasma, whatever you did to get the money.

I think I am going to start with a bake sale!