Question about Price

When Hubbs and I are looking at these different adoption agencies, one of the big things we look at is their fee structure and total price.
We have an agency that we really like that says the average domestic infant adoption will cost about 10,000. That is great! Most other agencies we look at quote 18,000 to 35,000!! That is a huge difference, so it makes me think what is the first agency not doing that is not costing them the extra money? Or why is the second one ripping me off?

How much did your adoption cost? Do you know why there is such variance in fees between agencies? This is really confusing to me, so any help would be great.

Fancy Adoption Agency

We didn't go to the info meeting on Monday, it was during the day and we had a work meeting.

Last night we did go. An agency here local to Pasadena, does international and domestic adoptions. It was a very interesting experience. First off it was an open house, so you could come and go as you please. They had wine and catered Hors D'oeuvres, FANCY. I think that was the first thing that threw us off, we felt like we were walking into a private party for people much more important than us. It was nice that they were trying to make a relaxed atmosphere.

We were able to talk to one of the staff, she was really nice and had lots of information. Red flag number two: they do the homestudy and relinquishment but an attorney handles the matching and interaction with the Birth Mother. When asked what kind of services or counseling is provided to the Birth Mother, they told us it depended on the attorney. The last place went on and on about the counseling they gave to the Birth Mother and how important this was to her making a good decision, and that good counseling actually lowered the risk in adoption because the Birth Mother has been give options. I really appreciated that. This agency was much more catering to the Adoptive Family.

The last question I asked was about how their fees worked. She said they spread it out to make it more affordable. Homestudy: $2600, Relinquishment $2000, application fee $250. Not bad, it was actually sounding pretty good, that only adds up to around $5000. Then she droped the bomb. The rest of the fees are paid directly to the attorney so it differs depending on what attorney you use, but a good estimate was $20 to $40 THOUSAND DOLLARS! I know adoption is expensive but holy crap that is alot of money, twice as much as the last place estimated! The attorney is getting the majority of the money, which doesnt sit well with me. If we are going to pay that high of a price I would much rather it go to an agency that is focused on Birth Mothers and doing a great service in the community, not an attorney.

Needless to say we ended that conversation, took one more spin around the fancy finger foods and took off. Not the right fit for us.

I dont know what is on the schedule next, more research I guess. So far the first agency is the only one on our Good list.

Am I willing to Gamble?

IVF costs a LOT of money. I think we are all aware of that. Adoption is not a cheaper option, and might even cost more. What we are trying to decide now, is a simple question of whether we are willing to gamble.
I am trying to make this a logical decision, and it is really hard with all the emotions that are involved, but just run with me for a minute.
Lets say you are looking to buy a car. You go and meet with Mr. Car man and he gives you two options. The first, pay $15,000 and he will provide you with a kit to build your own car, sounds exciting, only that there is only a 35% chance you will actually end up with a car in the end. The second option is to pay the same amount of money and he gaurntees you will have a brand new car from the lot down the street where cars just sit with no one to drive them in your drive way within a year. You dont get the satisfaction of putting it together yourself, but you are garunteed to have a car in the end.
I know that sounds really simplistic and maybe way off, but this is where my mind is.

Of course you would go with the option that garuntees that you get a car!

It sounds so simple, and we all know wanting a baby, our baby is much different than wanting a car. But the logic of it still stands. Am I willing to gamble the money on the maybe of getting a car? And there is a need that we could fill, we could become a child's family, be a better option for a struggling teen mom, we could be the answer.


With gaurntees also comes the abandonment of a dream. Letting go of hopes and emotions that I dont know if I am willing to let go of yet.

I wish this was as simple as buying a car, but I know it is not.

Decisions, decisions

We had our official consultation with the fertility specialist on Friday. It went really well, she didnt tell us anything we didnt already know, but she did say it. And she explained the whole situation with the endometriosis, what it is doing to my insides, and what are options are. I feel really educated, and I like our doc.

What she said:
Our only option is IVF if we want to get pregnant. I am kind of ok with it, most days. I pretty much knew this before, but now I know why. We also went through the whole process of IVF with her explaining every stage in detail. That was awesome. I am so amazed at the way God designed our bodies. We told her that we believed that life was at conception and that we needed to be able to protect that life at every stage. She said that they were willing to work with us and our stipulations. I dont think she necessarily agreed with us, but respected our beliefs. I appreciated that.

So now we have to decide. The major factor for us is protecting the life and feeling comfortable with the proceedure. The other big factor is the money. We will have to save or raise up the money, we could take out a loan, but we have to make sure we can pay the payments.

I would love to hear some creative ways that yall raised, barrowed, penny pinched, sold plasma, whatever you did to get the money.

I think I am going to start with a bake sale!