Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Adoption Class# 2: The Profile

Last night we went to our second adoption class. Most of the same couples were there, two were gone and one was new. The same women (whom we love) led the session. Topic at hand: The profile and how to Network.

Talking about the profile was fun, I love pictures and putting together books and the such. I think Hubbs and I will have a blast putting this together. We already joke about "oh this is a total profile pic moment, grab the camera!" It was a little stressful hearing about what the expectant mother wants to see or read. Not that we cant put those things in there, its just making sure we say it right.

Things to include:
  • Headshots, upclose fun pictures
  • Talk about our extended family
  • Where we live, community
  • What we do and how baby fits in
  • How baby fits into our lives in general
  • Why we are adopting
  • Our history
  • How we are preparing, classes, books, etc
My mind is already reeling with ideas of how to put this together. It doesnt have to made for a few months, but I think I will start sometime soon.

The other part of the night talked about Networking. This was a little more stressful. Basically she said the more networking you do the quicker the process will be. 1/3 of their familes choose to also work with an adoption lawyer (cant afford that!) so profiles are getting to more moms. They asked us to enlist our friends and get them to take a copy of our profile just in case they hear of a situation. This felt ocward to even think about. Everyone knows that we are adopting, so if the girl nextdoor turns up pregnant I think they would think of us.

I know we are suppose to be our own best advocate, but isnt this why we are paying an agency!! Money is tight to pay for just that, we dont have more money to canvas all of SoCal, so I guess we just have to wait longer. I hate waiting and I hate that money could buy us a shorter wait. (Sorry this quickly turned into a rantfest) We already send out bimonthly newsletters about our life and ministry, have two blogs, a 40 person prayer team that gets weekly emails, I mean what else can we do?? All we can do is wait, and trust that God has everything in his hands with the perfect Mother at the perfect time. I hate waiting.

For those mothers who have already adopted or in the process, what did you do? Did you network for yourself, where and what? Is this normal for an agency to tell you to get extra help? How long did your wait last?


Our Adoption Journey said...

Ah, if only money wasn't a factor...We face the same problem. I have heard of a few opportunities in the last few months and I've had to quickly stop looking because the price tag seems so HUGE!
We have not done a lot of getting ourselves out there. Just the wait is a roller coaster ride for me and I don't want to make everyone feel like they have to much pressure. Our chapter keeps talking about doing a 5th Sunday lesson and I am afraid if we did we would offend some single mom's in our ward (yes, I DO think I could do a better job).
We did just launch on Parent Profiles. I can't decide if I like it or not. We are getting a ton of hits, but only 6 of those have looked at our "contact us" page and I bet it is family just checking out our site since I did make a big announcement of it yesterday.
Right now I am just content to sit and wait, but that could change tomorrow and then again the next day. I keep thinking, when hubby is out of school, or when he has a better job, or the list goes on forever. I have really tried to turn this over to God so that I don't struggle with it so much!
Enough about me, good luck! I loved our classes and want to do them again!

GINA and KEV said...

Congratulations on getting started on the adoption process. I'm currently in the process of waiting to be matched.

We have done some of our own networking as well, though certainly not as much as you have already done! We are working with a small, independent agency who does not network for us, and for this, I am slightly regretful.

I agree that the profile is really fun to make. It's such a process of reflection, introspection, and truth.

Good luck!

Soralis said...

It's sad that money makes a difference.

Good luck and I hope your wait is a short one.

Take care

Anonymouse said...

We didn't do any official networking. Our family, friends, co-workers, and even some acquaintances knew we were planning to adopt and on our way through the adoption process.

Strangely enough, for us, that was enough. We ended up adopting from a teenager in our church whose small group I had led three years earlier before we even got the chance to fill out agency applications. Since then, we've heard of at least 3 other situations - not that have neccesarily presented themselves to us, but we are becoming the "go-to people on adoption situations" for our friends.

For what it's worth, I would say that you should stick with what feels comfortable. My guess is that the agency not only want you to network for your benefit (shorter wait, etc.) but also for their own. That might be why you're feeling a little pressure from them. Additionally, if you do find a private situation, be sure to check out the associated costs of pursuing privately versus through the agency.

Good luck - can't wait to hear news of your little one!