Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Visiting with Family and talking about Adoption

Hubbs and I have talked a lot about what we would be open to as to a child's race, background and medical issues. It is a lot to work through, they have a form that asks you about every combination of ethnicity on the planet.

This was not a hard conversation for us, when we heard that there are certain races that are less wanted, that was all we needed to hear. There should never be a child or group of people described as less wanted. The idea of building a multi-ethnic family kind of excites us. I know that we will be different and it will come with a lot of challenges, but I think we are up for it.

Before we fill out the form the way we would feel comfortable we feel like we have to talk to all of our family about how they would feel. This makes me nervous. There is no way that we could say yes to having an African American child if one of their grandparents wouldn't be ok with it. I think they all will, but I dont know for sure. There are a lot of people in the world that say they are not racist but would not want their family to be multiethnic. Maybe we are being to worried, but we feel we just need to talk about it. So the plan is to talk about it while we are visiting for Christmas. We have already talked with my parents and they already expected and are as excited as we are.

Now the fun part is how to not just walk in the door pass out the presents and blurt out so how would you feel about having a hispanic grandchild? It would be a whole lot easier if they brought it up, maybe they will. I really do expect everyone to be ok with it, atleast I really hope they will. I think we will wait until the last day and see if it comes up naturally as they ask us about the process. If not then we will have to bring it up, and just ask the question.

Please pray that everyone is excited and understands and will be loving and accepting of any child that we bring into the family.


~Jess said...

I completely understand everything you said in this post: My husband and I were also talking about what ethinicities we are "comfortable" with. It is horrible to think that there are certain children that are less desireable than others.

I definitely think talking to family members is an important thing, getting their support is vital to the child. Good luck with all of this.


Michelle said...

I will be praying for you. Good Luck. I hope your family supports you.

B MoM said...

I feel so privileged to be sharing this journey with you. Your posts bring an amazing first hand view of various aspects of adoption that an average person does not know about. I think you and DH are treading this journey very admirably. =) I am sure that if your family is anything like you, they will also be accepting of whatever ethnicity your future child will be.

CTagsGirl said...

I'll be keeping you and your husband in my prayers as you prepare to tell your family about this decision. May God give you just the right words to say. :)

Have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!


theworms said...

Saying quick prayer that everything goes well, someone else brings it up and everyone is accepting of all children. GL

Happy Holidays


christina said...

i can understand the apprehension there, but i hope the conversation goes well and that your family supports everything 100%!

gl and cheers to 2009.


April said...

somehow i think that people seem to be fine with lots of things when there is a child involved. something about being a "grandparent" changes views, feelings, etc. (or at least allows them to have an exception to their rule).

hope things went well. :)

Annie said...

wondering if you've had the conversation yet and how it went. I am hoping they were open to it and excited about it :)

Kara said...

When we were going through our approval process with our agency I was left in awe about that fact - there are some children that are less desireable than others. I had the same reaction -it only made me want to choose that race even more so.

I think its a great idea to start the conversation and see how it goes, you will be surprised at how open minded some (very close-minded) people can be sometimes.

Best of luck - K

Anonymous said...

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Here from ICLW...No. 87
The Unfair Struggle