The Papers have arrived

HOLY CRAP there are so many questions and forms to fill out. I knew the application was long and expected a lot but it is like 2 inches thick! I flipped through it last night and it was just so overwhelming. I know it is worth it and all that yadayada, but I just needed to get that out and whine for a minute.

I think we will definitely need to make a game plan. Do a portion a day or something like that.

And then there is the question on tone. Are we ultra serious because this is a serious matter and we want to come off as mature and understanding, or do we throw some light hearted humor in and risk coming off as flippant?

So many Questions!

I think I over analyze and just need to get some tea, relax. Deep Breaths.

Decisions made, Now how do we announce it?

Hubbs and I had a meeting last night. We sat at the kitchen table with all the adoption information we had gathered strewn about the table, a bowl of Strawberry Cheesecake Icecream, and the laptop close by. It was time to decide who we were going to choose for our adoption agency.

I was expecting a long drawn out conversation but was greatly surprised by an easy decision. We both really liked the same agency for the same reasons. It almost seemed too easy. No fighting, no convincing, no compromising, just complete agreement.

So the winner is.... Kinship Center!

You can check them out at www.kinshipcenter.org. We just really loved the way they focused on taking care of the Birthmother and making sure she was making the right decision, even if it meant not making an adoption plan. You can read earlier posts about our first meeting with them.

So now what?

We need to tell everyone the great news! We need to let people know what we are doing. My husband and I work for a ministry so we send out newsletters every other month. We want to have a special edition in December that announces our decision to Adopt. People always find cute ways to announce a pregnancy, but how do you announce an adoption? I need ideas!!

Can you think of a creative way to make the adoption announcement? Leave it in the comments and I will pick one as a winner. I don't have a prize other than cool points, but who doesn't want those!

Question about Price

When Hubbs and I are looking at these different adoption agencies, one of the big things we look at is their fee structure and total price.
We have an agency that we really like that says the average domestic infant adoption will cost about 10,000. That is great! Most other agencies we look at quote 18,000 to 35,000!! That is a huge difference, so it makes me think what is the first agency not doing that is not costing them the extra money? Or why is the second one ripping me off?

How much did your adoption cost? Do you know why there is such variance in fees between agencies? This is really confusing to me, so any help would be great.

Fancy Adoption Agency

We didn't go to the info meeting on Monday, it was during the day and we had a work meeting.

Last night we did go. An agency here local to Pasadena, does international and domestic adoptions. It was a very interesting experience. First off it was an open house, so you could come and go as you please. They had wine and catered Hors D'oeuvres, FANCY. I think that was the first thing that threw us off, we felt like we were walking into a private party for people much more important than us. It was nice that they were trying to make a relaxed atmosphere.

We were able to talk to one of the staff, she was really nice and had lots of information. Red flag number two: they do the homestudy and relinquishment but an attorney handles the matching and interaction with the Birth Mother. When asked what kind of services or counseling is provided to the Birth Mother, they told us it depended on the attorney. The last place went on and on about the counseling they gave to the Birth Mother and how important this was to her making a good decision, and that good counseling actually lowered the risk in adoption because the Birth Mother has been give options. I really appreciated that. This agency was much more catering to the Adoptive Family.

The last question I asked was about how their fees worked. She said they spread it out to make it more affordable. Homestudy: $2600, Relinquishment $2000, application fee $250. Not bad, it was actually sounding pretty good, that only adds up to around $5000. Then she droped the bomb. The rest of the fees are paid directly to the attorney so it differs depending on what attorney you use, but a good estimate was $20 to $40 THOUSAND DOLLARS! I know adoption is expensive but holy crap that is alot of money, twice as much as the last place estimated! The attorney is getting the majority of the money, which doesnt sit well with me. If we are going to pay that high of a price I would much rather it go to an agency that is focused on Birth Mothers and doing a great service in the community, not an attorney.

Needless to say we ended that conversation, took one more spin around the fancy finger foods and took off. Not the right fit for us.

I dont know what is on the schedule next, more research I guess. So far the first agency is the only one on our Good list.