Monday, July 28, 2008

How to answer the "How ya'll doing" question

The Hubbs and I have been traveling a lot this summer, too much really. I am exhausted physically and emotionally. We have visited a lot of people and the first question they all ask is, "How are ya'll doing?" I don't think they really want me to answer. What would I say anyways. How do you explain all this. I can tell my closest friends, but to people that you just know, even friends, but not the kind of friends that you talk to all the time, How do you tell them. Do I even have to? I don't really want to, but how do you answer that question.

I feel like if I did just talk about it, put it out there, that people would feel awkward about it. That it would be too much information. I feel like there is something broken with me. Why is this so hard? Why do I feel like I have some hidden disease? How many women are going through the same situation and are hiding it as well.

I would love to know how others deal with this. How do you just casually say, my husband and I are struggling with Infertility, we may not be able to have babies, my insides are broken, anything with out freakin people out.

5 comments:

nh said...

It depends how I am feeling...
If I can't be bothered, don't know the person well, don't want to talk the answer is always 'I'm fine'.

If I can be bothered and know the person I'm usually very honest, and tell them exactly how I'm feeling, and the things that are cycling in my mind.

Cathleen said...

I am very open about my infertility, and I know what you mean about not wanting it to be awkward. If I don't really want to go into it, my new line is that we are trying to have a baby, but that we are experiencing technical difficulties. :)

The only bad thing is that being open about it results in lots and lots an unsolicited advice. Just be prepared.

Yaya said...

Have you read the book Waiting For Daisy? I recommend it if you haven't. While I was (spoiler alert) irritated at her "happy ending" (just my jealousy bc I don't have my own 'happy ending') there were several points in the book that have stuck with me. One of those being that here in our western culture things like infertility and miscarriage are completely not talked about and misunderstood, while over in other countries they are widely talked about and not treated like the plague.

So Barren said...

Hi I hope you don't mind if I comment. I found your blog from Stirrup Queens. I have endometriosis too, it sucks! I wish I could answer your question. People respond in so many different ways so I am always a little cautious before sharing. Some people think they know just what you need to do to get pregnant. I had a lady once tell me if I wanted to get pregnant I just had to sit next to pregnant women! Some people feel weird and change the subject, some people can be very ignorant and hurtful, and then there are the very few people that actually listen and try to understand. I am glad I found your blog and once again I hope you don't mind me commenting, sorry I couldn't help more, I am still trying to figure out that whole situation as well!

Laura Kellerman said...

I have never, ever considered journaling about my 3-year infertility battle. I've only read the first 3-4 entries in your blog, and don't know how I found it, but I LOVE how honest you are and it's inspiring me to get my thoughts down on paper! Maybe I'll blog in the future but it's not really appropriate for my line of work.